PERSONALITY 3: PERFECT PERSONALITY?

In the last blog I finished with a question: Of these three (Apollos, Paul & Peter) which had the ‘best’ personality?

The answer: None of them!

Each was called by God. Each had an apostolic ministry. Each had a major contribution to make in the early Church. All of which simply goes to show that there is no one sanctified personality type.

The Corinthians mistake was that they seemed to be picking favourites on the basis of personality rather than character. Over the centuries many church divisions have been about personality. Too often we disguise as theological disputes what actually are clashes of personality.

We are in constant danger of doing a mental ‘X Factor’ on people and judging them simply on the basis of their personality. God uses people of widely contrasting personality, E.g., Apollos, Paul & Peter.

Reading a new edition of John Owen’s “Overcoming Sin & Temptation” helped me see this. (Although I must confess to have only made it through about the first third of the book.) Owen says this:

“Remember that of many of the best Christians, the worst is known and seen. Many who keep up precious communion with God do yet oftentimes, by their natural tempers of freedom or passion, not carry so glorious appearances as others who perhaps come short of them in grace and power of godliness.”

God uses the most unlikely people. One of the things I have learned in 12 years of pastoral work is that sometimes people with unattractive personalities can be faithful servants of God and amazingly used by him. We are always in danger of being taken in by “glorious appearances” and being blind to “grace and power of godliness.”

Time and again I have seen people dismissed on the basis of their personality, and this dressed up as a theological issue, or more often a character flaw. (And – another confession – I have done this myself… I plan to say more about the difference between character and personality later on, but it is worth flagging up today.) Some people do have difficult personalities; and all of us have a personality ‘anti-type’ with whom we will tend to clash. And it is probably true that some personalities are simply not suited to certain jobs and roles. But we shouldn’t allow personality to be THE quality by which we assess people.

The search for perfect personality reflects our cultural assumption that life should be perfect. This is then reflected in the church swallowing the ‘health and wealth’ gospel. (Check out Mark Driscoll’s critique of Joel Osteen for a good example of how to respond to this kind of flaky theology.)

As so often, Eugene Peterson cuts to the heart of this, pithily exposing the danger of relying too much on personality tests: “In the jargon of the day, we pray: ‘sacrifice is not one of my gifts – I want to serve God with my strength, with my giftedness.’ It’s a strange thing, but sacrifice never seems to show up on anyone’s Myers-Briggs profile.”

Although they all had very different personalities, I think Apollos, Paul and Peter all knew something about sacrifice.

PERSONALITY 2: NO PIGEONS

While we might agree that having some understanding of personality is helpful, it can also seem terrible unfair. Is it in fact a failing in our personality that we put so much weight on the personality of others?! Can personality be helped any more than physical appearance? And if it is unfair to discriminate depending on how people look (although almost all of us do) isn’t unfair to put so much emphasis upon personality?

Fortunately God does not appear to discriminate as much as we do on the basis of personality.

A helpful place to see this is in 1 Corinthians 3. In this passage Paul rebukes the Corinthian church for the way they are choosing favourites from among the apostles who have influenced them. It looks like the Corinthians are conducting a personality popularity poll, and Paul takes them to task for it.

Three personalities are involved here: Paul, Apollos and Cephas (another name for Peter).

Apollos: I imagine Apollos was a melancholic. We don’t know a huge amount about him, but what we do is revealing.

Acts 18:24-28 tells us: “Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and he spoke with great fervour and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately. When Apollos wanted to go to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples there to welcome him. On arriving, he was a great help to those who by grace had believed. For he vigorously refuted the Jews in public debate, proving from the Scriptures that Jesus was the Christ.”

What we can see from this passage is that Apollos was a teacher, a scholar, a debater. He was publicly impressive.

We get another glimpse of Apollos in 1 Corinthians 16:12: “Now about our brother Apollos: I strongly urged him to go to you with the brothers. He was quite unwilling to go now, but he will go when he has the opportunity.”

I have always found this an intriguing passage – who said “No!” to the apostle Paul?! Apollos was clearly not lacking in confidence!

Paul: We of course know a lot more about Paul than we do Apollos, and I think he was a choleric-melancholic. The abrasive side of his personality can be seen in his clash with Barnabas (who was probably a phlegmatic) over John Mark (Acts 15). But at the same time one of the things that comes over time and again in the epistles is Paul’s love for the churches.

We know that Paul was not always impressive in appearance or speech (2 Cor. 10:10) which perhaps explains why Apollos (who clearly was) was more popular with some of the Corinthians.

It is also possible that Paul was physically unattractive. He would quite likely have been misshapen from all the floggings he received, and his thorn in the flesh (2 Cor. 12:7-10) might refer to some physical ailment. In Greek culture, just as in 21st century western culture, a lot of emphasis was placed upon appearance.

What else can we deduce about Paul? He was a zealot; his style of writing indicates he was impetuous; he was gregarious in as much that he always travelled with a group of friends; he had an iron will and was physically tough (2 Cor. 11).

Quite a package.

Peter: Peter was surely an out and out sanguine.

He was always at the front of the line, always saying, “Look at me!” He always assumed leadership and always had something to say. He was impulsive, bordering on rash and tended to mess up the most holy moments, when it would have been far better to keep his mouth shut!

And probably he was not so bright as Paul & Apollos.

Now, imagine these three in a room together, say at a party. Which would we gravitate towards?

My guess is that most of us would move towards Peter. Why? Because sanguines are usually the most popular!

We know that Peter was a northerner (as he came from Galilee) and I always imagine him as a big, loud, jolly Mancunian or Geordie. At our party, Peter would be the one greeting guests, handing out the crisps and beer, and cracking jokes. Barnabas would be following along behind him, tidying up the spilt crisps and picking up the shyer people who got blasted out of Peter’s slipstream. Apollos would be in a corner, engaged in earnest discussion with one or two others, or maybe checking out the hosts bookshelves. Paul would be surrounded by a gaggle of friends, but wouldn’t necessarily look approachable.

So of these three (or four if we include Barnabas) which had the ‘best’ personality?

THE SUPREMACY OF CHRIST OVER PERSONALITY

I have driven over a thousand miles in the last week – hence the lack of blogging. I’m not a big fan of driving in the UK: God spare us the M25…

As previously blogged, the Sunday before last I was in Manchester, where I preached at Hope Church on ‘The Supremacy of Christ Over Personality.’ Earlier in the year I preached a similar message at New Community and on both occasions got a lot of feedback from people – although an important subject, it is probably not one that gets touched on in church very often. This is odd, when church is all about people, and trying to reconcile their varying personalities! Also, every church has its own personality (or, to use other language, Corporate DNA), and it useful to understand this.

So I thought it might be fun to spend the next few blogs exploring this subject.

Industrial psychology is now big business and many employers require job candidates to undergo personality profiling in order to assess their ‘fit’ for the workplace. Personality really does matter because the way that we measure and respond to others is always (initially at least) on the basis of their personality.

Whenever we meet someone for the first time there is an (usually) unconscious thought process that goes on inside our heads: “How do I feel about this person?” And subsequently when we think about that person we will think about how we felt about them – about how their personality affected us.

And of course, the sad reality is that just as some people are more physically attractive than others, so some people have much more attractive personalities than others.

I’ll say more about this later in the week…

I do think it is helpful – essential even – to have a good understanding of our own personalities. We need to understand ourselves if we are to understand how others respond to us, and how we can best get along in life.

There are numerous personality tests that can help us define our personality.

The one I have seen most frequently used in churches in the UK is the Myers-Briggs. This can easily be found for free on the web. The Acts 29 church planting network use this as part of their assessment of potential church planters, giving people a ‘Planting Potential’ score:


MB type Score Planting Potential
ENTP INVENTOR 10 HIGH CHURCH PLANTING POTENTIAL
ENTJ LEADER 9
ENFP PEOPLE PERSON 8
ENFJ PERSUADER 7
INTJ SCIENTIST 6 MEDIUM CHURCH PLANTING POTENTIAL
INTP ARCHITECT 6
ESTJ ADMINISTRATOR 5
ESTP PROMOTER 5
ESFP PERFORMER 4
ESFJ HOST, CARE GIVER 4
ISTJ INSPECTOR 3 LOW CHURCH PLANTING POTENTIAL
INFJ COUNSELLOR 3
INFP HEALER 3
ISFP ARTIST 2
ISTP CRAFTER 2
ISFJ PROTECTOR 1

On this test I come out as an ENTJ, although I am a weak E and T and strong N and J (you’ll have to look up the test to work out what all these letters mean!).

Another common way to assess personality is on the basis of four basic personality types: Sanguine, Melancholic, Choleric and Phlegmatic. Again, you can do this test online for free.

These four types can be caricatured as:

The sanguine says, “Do it the fun way,” or “Look at me!”
The melancholic says, “Do it the right way,” or “Please understand me.”
The choleric says, “Do it my way,” or “Do it my way, Now!”
The phlegmatic says, “Do it the easy way,” or “What difference will it make?”

On this one I come out as a choleric-melancholic (it is common to have two equally strong types in your personality). There is much that is positive about this personality type; the test I took described me as, “Driven, yet self-sacrificing and a lover of truth, the choleric-melancholic can accomplish great things.” Which is good!

The flip-side, however is not so good! “Without human and spiritual formation, however, this mixture can result in an individual who is proud and obstinate, with deep anger and resentment.” I know I have had to work on these things, especially when dealing with phlegmatics!

Another commonly used test is the DISC. A refinement of this is the iDISC. I found this a frustrating test to take (due to my personality!) as it consists of a series of questions where you have to select the one word from four possible options which bests describes how you react. Often I felt I was almost picking a word at random as it was not at all easy to choose one over the others. However, the results seemed to make sense.

You can do this test online, but it will cost you. Or you can buy the book The Personality Code which explains it all and gives you an access code to take the test.

The thing I found helpful about the iDISC is that it gives suggestions as to how to make the most of your strengths and work around your weaknesses. It also describes what other personality you are most likely to clash with – and this is helpful knowledge!

But, however helpful these kind of tests are, it is vital that we do not pigeon-hole people according to their personality. More on this next time…

A MANS BEST FRIEND

I've been in Manchester this weekend, preaching at Hope Church yesterday and staying with our friends Howard & Naomi Kellett. Out walking in the Peak District today. Its only 230 miles from home, less as the crow flies, but feels very different. Even the mud is different! Back home, its all thick London or Weald clay; up here its black, peaty, moorland stuff.

We were walking close to Buxton, where nearly 12 years ago Grace and I bought Jess the dog. Best £35 I ever spent! She was very happy to be out on the hills, but is getting rather doddery, and now is too exhausted to even lift her rump off the kitchen floor.

Its great having friendships that stand the test of time - and distance.

Just a shame that God didn't give dogs the same lifespan as humans...

RESPECT

At Prayer & Fasting this week Terry Virgo preached a magnificent message about God’s call upon us as pastors. Terry spoke movingly about his own experience as a young man, when an encounter with God resulted in him no longer calling his church minister "Mr Rudman," but "Pastor Rudman." This happened when he realised that his pastor was not just preaching sermons at him, but had responsibility for nourishing his soul.

Despite Terry’s experience, we have made a deliberate attempt to stamp out such formalities as calling a church leader “Pastor.” This was in response to a dead traditionalism encountered in many churches, where status and formality seemed to matter more than spiritual anointing and community. It also reflected a wider shift in a society which was becoming less and less deferential.

I experienced a similar transition myself in the way that adults were addressed. As a boy, at the church I attended we referred to adults – at least those who were themselves parents, or single people older than (I guess) about 35 – as “aunt” or “uncle.” By the time I was 13 and moved to a different church this form of address seemed completely anachronistic – from then on it was first names all the way.

But I wonder if in gaining a relaxed informality we have lost something that was valuable.

There is still something in me that feels it isn’t quite right when a small child addresses an adult – especially an older person – by their first name. And as well as the respect it inferred, knowing the adults in my church as aunt and uncle definitely gave a genuine sense of family – these weren’t just distant strangers, but people I somehow felt related to. I knew they were to be obeyed, but I also knew that they were (in a good way) watching out for me.

And in our wider culture our problem is no longer too much formality and deference, but a general lack of respect. So perhaps resurrecting the title “Pastor” wouldn’t be such a bad thing, as long as it were genuinely given, just as Terry did to Pastor Rudman, and not falsely imposed.

PRAYER & FEASTING

Tuesday and Wednesday this week I was at the Newfrontiers Prayer & Fasting days at Peterborough. We do this three times a year and I think it is the best thing we do together.

In the twelve years I have been going to Prayer & Fasting there have been a lot of changes. Back then we were meeting at the Royal Agricultural Showground at Stoneleigh, and there were about 200 of us. I was 25 when I first went and at that time was pretty much the youngest person present. Newfrontiers was definitely a middle-aged movement at that time. The number of women there could probably have been counted on one hand as well.

Fast forward 12 years and three different venues and there are now 750 of us gathered at Peterborough. There are scores of people younger than me (and younger than 25) and, though still in a minority, there are also a large number of women.

It is always great to catch up with old friends, and to pray for many situations around the world. There is a strong sense of the prophetic, of camaraderie, and of being on a mission together.

I always come back absolutely knackered though!

I was driving a car full of young men and when we stopped at a Sainsbury’s on the way home it was like the descent of the Mongol hordes – never have I seen such determined food shopping!

One of the things announced at Prayer & Fasting that I am especially excited about is a proliferation of ‘Bible Weekends.’ Since Stoneleigh Bible Week finished back in 2001 it has often felt that there is a gap in what we are doing. These Bible weekends will enable us to gather in big crowds around the nation, get encouraged and motivated, and send workers out to the nations. They will be a bit like Prayer & Fasting, but without the fasting – sounds perfect!

MYSTERY & REVELATION

Yesterday myself and Simon Leigh-Jones had the privilege of teaching the London FP Impact students on the Doctrine of God. The Impacters are a great bunch and we had some good discussions, again and again being confronted with the limits of our knowledge and the vast mystery of who God is. But, as well as mystery, God has made himself known to us with incredible simplicity and directness, in the person of his Son.

Trying to put all this mystery and revelation together in five hours of lectures is not always so easy! Charles Wesley did a much better job nearly 300 years ago with this great hymn:

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

WARNIE WAS ROBBED!

The other day I got an email from Premier Online about the Christian Blog & Web Awards: “Friday night saw the first Christian Blog and Web Awards, held at St Stephen Walbrook, London. Christians from all corners of the industry gathered to celebrate the achievements of those who are making the Christian voice heard in the new media landscape.”

As we all know, there is one preeminent Christian Blog in the UK, that of Adrian Warnock. But did he get an award? Not a sniff. Outrageous!

For a list of the winners go to the Premier site.

TRIVIAL PURSUITS

I have been corresponding with my Zimbabwean friends over the weekend. In Bulawayo the water supplies are only running 48 hours each week. Whenever the taps work people are filling every available container in order to have some water once the supply is switched off again. Because of the lack of clean water there is an increasing problem with the diseases associated with poor sanitation.

Meanwhile, in the UK the media are in a frenzy over Gordon Brown’s failure to call an election when all the indications are that he had instructed his troops to prepare for just such an event. This is undoubtedly a political own-goal, but compared with what is happening in Zim (or Burma, or Congo, or Sudan, or Iraq…) it is hardly the “catastrophe” I heard one journalist describing it as.

Only a country as rich as the UK could treat such relatively trivial things with such seriousness.

Despite the challenges they face, my Zimbo friends remain remarkably upbeat and faith filled. They remind me of the quote from St Augustine:

“The wicked, under pressure of affliction, execrate God and blaspheme; the good, in the same affliction, offer up prayers and praises. This shows that what matters is the nature of the sufferer, not the nature of the sufferings. Stir a cesspit, and a foul stench arises; stir a perfume, and a delightful fragrance ascends. But the movement is identical.”

DEAD CHUFFED

Please allow me a moments gloating: It is so good to see Australians and Kiwis crying! Shame that Fiji missed out on claiming the scalp of South Africa though.

DEAD CERTAIN

My colleagues Steve Blaber and Derek Gibbs were alarmed when they walked past my desk and saw a document on my computer titled, “My Funeral.” No, things are not really that bad, its just that I’ve started to write “The Omega Course.”

At one of the Newfrontiers Theology Forum days someone – I think it was Martin Charlesworth – made the joking suggestion that we needed such a course to run alongside the Alpha Course. I think he is right, and that is why it has been on my to-do list ever since. I intend to subtitle the course, “An opportunity to explore the meaning of death” and for the logo thought I’d have an image of the Grim Reaper balancing a football on his scythe!

Seriously, I believe that there is a need for such a course as we tend to pay so little attention to death until it suddenly springs upon us. But all of us have to face death – first of friends and loved ones, and then of ourselves. This wouldn’t just be a course for the old, but for everyone. I have got the outline worked out. There will be theological aspects, such as “What happens when we die?” and practical things like “Planning a funeral.” I will also include pastoral material, E.g., “Understanding the grieving process.”

Always the challenge with this kind of thing is collecting good illustrations and stories. So I need your help! If you have any stories from your own experience I would love to hear them. The kind of thing I am looking for is, How have you handled the death of a loved one? Have you had any near death experiences? What most worries you about dying? What do you understand about heaven and hell? Are there people whose approach to grieving or death has particularly impressed you?

If you can help me with this, rather than posting on the blog, could you please email me at matthew.hosier@gmail.com.


Thanks!

FACEBOOK JUNKIES

I seem to have finally succumbed to the trap that is Facebook.

I signed up a while ago, and at first didn’t invite anyone to become my friend, and only checked my site a couple of times a week. Granted, I currently have less filling my agenda than is normally the case, but even with that excuse it is worrying how often I am now going there.

A few years back Friends Reunited was attracting as much frenzied attention as Facebook is now. Does anyone still use Friends Reunited? I briefly checked my old school earlier today and it looked like none of my friends had updated their profiles in the past six years.

So while Facebook is sucking me in at the moment I suspect it is only a passing phase.

What is interesting about the ‘social utility’ websites is what they reveal about our desire for community, or at least friendship. The discussions on community on this blog and others have looked at some very intentional, and intense, forms of community living. Facebook is a million miles from that, but its enormous popularity speaks volumes of the human desire to be connected to other people.

There are very few genuine misanthropes. All of us crave connection with others, although the nature of that craving varies hugely between individuals. I am very happy with my own company, and enjoy extended times of solitude, but I also have an insatiable desire for relationship and will always rush back from solitude to the crowd.

When St Benedict created ‘the Rule’ which governed the life of his monastery (and which remains the model for many communities today) the punishment for errant monks was to be confined to their own cells, away from contact with others. “It is not good for the man to be alone” was God’s declaration over us. Perhaps Facebook is just the latest demonstration of our response to this declaration.

PATIENTLY WAITING

It is now more than four months since it was decided that Grace and I would be leaving New Community.

People keep asking, “What is God saying?” I must admit to often finding that a confusing question. God is speaking all the time – through the bible, through creation, through his church. Most of all he has spoken through the revealed Word, Jesus Christ.

The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus speak to me. They speak of life having purpose, of the power of sin and death being broken, and of an undying hope.

But I am being a little obtuse, because of course what people mean is, “Has God told you where to move to yet?”

I can’t say that he has – and I’m not really expecting an audible voice anyway – but the question would probably be better if it was rephrased as, “What is God teaching you through this?” To this the answer would be much more straightforward: Patience!

Patience is a virtue; a fruit of the Spirit. I am not by nature a patient man.

Ecclesiastes 7:8 is helpful: “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” These four months have been humbling and I am trusting that the end will be better than the beginning.

BELIEVE & LIVE!

I have started re-reading Philip Yancey’s "Reaching for the Invisible God". I like this passage:

“In a famous allegorical dilemma, a fourteenth-century French monk told of a donkey who confronts two equally attractive, equally distant bales of hay. The animal stares, hesitates, stares some more, and eventually perishes because he has no logical justification for moving toward one bale or another.

“Without an element of risk, there is no faith. Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote of Herman Melville, ‘He can neither believe nor be content in his disbelief.’ Like the donkey torn between two bales, this middle ground may represent the greatest danger, because it removes passion in a person’s relationship with God. Faith becomes a kind of intellectual puzzle, which is never biblical faith.”

I first read this six years ago and at that time wrote the name of a friend for whom this seemed to be a perfect description in the margin. That name is in my margin still. And that is tragic.