Observations on Theology, Culture and the Hosier family

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

MENTAL CRAMP

Today has been set aside for prayer and study, with sermon preparation a priority. Unfortunately, its been one of those days when preping has been more torture than pleasure. I more or less know what I want to say, I just can't get it down on paper. Preachers block - its a bit of a nightmare.

We have just finished a three week series on Horizon Widening Prayer, and are about to begin another short series on Horizon Widening Praise. Of course, the two are intimately connected. It all starts with grace - get a grasp of what grace means and thanks - praise - inevitably follows, and prayer flows out of that. So preaching on it should be easy...

At the least, I can praise God that sermon prep isn't always this painful!

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

FUNERAL THOUGHTS

Death has been in my thoughts the past few days. We’ve had two funerals at Alder Road this week. Both were positive, in that there was a celebration of lives well lived, by the grace of God, so we can grieve, not “as others do who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13). But still we grieve!

The death of Humphrey Lyttleton last Friday also felt a significant moment, if only because on Monday nights Humph has always been there, with I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue on Radio 4 and Best of Jazz on Radio 2. It will be odd never to hear that familiar voice again.

Closer to home for me, my grandfather died yesterday. Edward Hosier was the last of my grandparents, and the last of the great-grandparents for my children (Grace’s grandparents all died some time ago). There is something very final about that – the generations have now shifted up a level.

My maternal grandfather died before I was born, and I have always been sorry not to have known him. From what I have heard about him I think we would have got on very well. But my other grandparents all had staying power, with my maternal grandmother dying only four years ago, the other grandmother in December ’06, and granddad yesterday. I was grateful to have been able to see them all close to the end, and to pray with each of them. I last saw granddad four weeks ago, and took daughters No. 2 & 3 with me. We tried to say Psalm 46 together over him, but I got a bit choked up and daughter No. 2 carried the day.

It is a horrible day in Poole today, real funeral weather – cold, lashing down with rain, the odd peal of thunder. It must be miserable being an atheist on days like these.

Friday, 25 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 7

Principle No. 5...

5. God is the judge

One last thing that the cursing Psalms teach us is that it is God who is judge of all the earth.

For different people the same piece of information can produce very different responses. Imagine that you and a burglar confront one another in your house one night. If you hear a siren and then a policeman charging through the door to rescue you, your response will be one of relief and gratitude. But for the burglar his feelings will not be relief and gratitude, but panic and anger.

The cursing psalms are about justice and when the judge appears there will be very different reactions. For those who oppress the poor it will be a terrifying day indeed; but for the oppressed it will be the day of liberation.

When we read these psalms we need to remember this big picture, that it is all about God, in the end, doing what is right. These are not simply declarations of violence, but a plea to the judge of all the earth to judge in favour of the oppressed. In this sense, these psalms which at first reading can appear the least Christian of all scripture – so un-Christian that some say they need to be cut out of the bible – are actually the most Christian.

Psalm 58:10 says: The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance; he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked.

And Jesus said: All who draw the sword will die by the sword (Matthew 26:52)

Psalm 58:11 says: Surely the righteous are still rewarded; surely there is a God who judges the earth

And Jesus said: The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour (Luke 4:18-19)

Justice is good news!

Jesus fulfilled these psalms. He came to announce the judges verdict: Freedom! Ultimately God will overturn all injustice and will punish those who inflict evil on others. Jesus’ mission was to the poor and oppressed. His plan was to bring them freedom.

Jesus also fulfilled these psalms by himself bearing their wrath and pain on the cross. Jesus himself became the one whose cheek was struck and whose blood was spilt. Because Jesus bore God’s wrath against injustice it is possible for all who repent and turn to him to find forgiveness and life. The sobering truth is that everyone of us should expect no more from God than bitter judgement. The good news is that Jesus has taken this for us, so we can walk free.

Thursday, 24 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 6

Principle No. 4...

4. Praying against injustice

Psalm 58 begins with a word of judgement against corrupt rulers and the whole psalm is aimed against those in power who abuse the weak. As The Message translates it:

Is this any way to run a country?
Is there an honest politician in the house?
Behind the scenes you brew cauldrons of evil,
Behind closed doors you make deals with demons…

…God, smash their teeth to bits,
Leave them toothless tigers.


This shows us that it can be appropriate to cry out against those in power who act unjustly. In saying this we have a difficult line to tread, because the spirit of our age is to display an abusiveness to those in authority which I do not believe the Bible validates. Jesus was not afraid to call Herod, “that fox”, which was an insulting term, but at the same time both the apostle Peter and the apostle Paul instruct us to treat those over us with respect. Christians should not make personally derogatory statements about political leaders, no matter what their political persuasion. That is not to say that we cannot be critical of their politics, but that is very different from a thoughtless abuse of these people. And even to try and translate the emotion of Psalm 58 into how we relate to our political leaders is to grossly miss the point. The contrast between what we experience in a western democracy and the experience being described in the Psalms is as great as the difference between a wrongly applied parking ticket and what happened to the Jews in the Warsaw ghetto.

But despite these cautions, the sad reality is that around the world there are rulers who need to have their teeth smashed.

In 2006 a 19-year-old woman, from Saudi Arabia's Shia minority, was gang-raped 14 times in an attack in Qatif in the eastern province of the country. Seven men were found guilty of the rape and sentenced to prison terms ranging from just under a year to five years. At the same time the woman was punished for violating laws on segregation of the sexes – she was in an unrelated man's car at the time of the attack – and sentenced to 200 lashes.

Her lawyer Abdel Rahman al-Lahem told the BBC Arabic Service that the sentence was in violation of Islamic law: "My client is the victim of this abhorrent crime. I believe her sentence contravenes the Islamic Sharia law and violates the pertinent international conventions. The judicial bodies should have dealt with this girl as the victim rather than the culprit."

It is in the face of this kind of injustice that we should pray with Psalm 58, God, smash their teeth to bits.

Far from saying to ourselves, “How can a Christian pray these psalms?”, we should say to ourselves, “How is that the church has so often been so complacent about grave injustice?” Why was it that when South Africa was under apartheid so often evangelical Christians seemed to side with the apartheid regime more than with the struggle for freedom? Why did we leave the freedom struggle to the godless far-left? Why is it when Bono campaigns for Africa to be treated with economic fairness that we evangelicals condemn him for not being “Christian” enough because of some of his other lifestyle choices? Why is it that when we see American Christians campaigning vigorously against abortion we feel embarrassed by their lack of subtlety?

So these psalms stand as a challenge and a rebuke to us. Whenever in the church we start to talk about political issues there are complications – Yes, the problems facing Africa are complicated, and reducing it to a question of whether we should all be drinking fair trade coffee oversimplifies things. And Yes, the manner in which we approach social issues like abortion needs careful thought. And Yes, there will be a spectrum of belief about what the British involvement in Iraq should be. But all those complications and real issues do not exempt us from a passionate concern for justice.

You see, these cursing psalms are not really about cursing at all. They are about presenting our passionate laments, petitions and desires before God. The psalms use 94 words descriptive of enemies. In the psalms we see a raw recognition of the fight we are in. In the psalms we see a crying out to God which isn’t a selfish individualism – these aren’t prayers of, “give me more money, give me a foreign holiday, let me upgrade my car.” These are prayers of justice on behalf of the poor and weak. We can pray all those personal prayers – we can ask for good things in our lives – but probably the prayer that most of us need to learn are these bigger prayers, these prayers on the behalf of others, these prayers for justice.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 5

Principle No. 3...

3. These are songs of the oppressed

When we read a verse in the bible that says: Let them be like the snail that dissolves into slime, like the stillborn child who never sees the sun, our first response can be, “How am I supposed to read that as a Christian?” This is an understandable response, but you might find it more helpful to ask, "How would I read this if I had been in Auschwitz?” or, “How would I read this if I was in Darfur?”

It is important to understand that these cursing psalms represent the cry of the underdog, of the abused, of the victim. For many of us that can make these psalms difficult to relate to because we have not been the underdog. We have been used to peace and security and being treated justly. For us, the height of injustice might be getting a parking ticket when we shouldn’t have got one, or receiving an unfair mark in an exam. But part of the call upon us Christians is to side with the poor, the weak, and the abused. If we can read them right, these psalms of violence and vengeance can help us to be more fully Christian, not less.

Back in 1989, between finishing school and going to university, I spent nine months in South Africa. At this time South Africa was still governed under a system called Apartheid, “Separateness.” Apartheid meant that the black majority of the nation were forced to live in the worst areas. They were not allowed to live where white people lived. They couldn’t send their children to the same schools, couldn’t use the same beaches, couldn’t even urinate in the same toilet. But in 1989 apartheid was on its last legs. Nelson Mandela was still in jail but would be released a year later. The white government was still in total control but the winds of change were blowing like a hurricane. There was increasing restlessness and violence in the country and a growing sense of fear that the nation might descend into the most appalling and bloody civil conflict. During those nine months I got to see both sides of the fence. I spent most of my time in white South Africa, with white South Africans. But I also spent a lot of time in black South Africa as I would regularly go into the townships around Cape Town.

One of the fascinating things about that time spiritually was the different way in which black and white Christians would pray. I would go to prayer meetings with white Christians and the emphasis of the prayers would be, “Peace, peace, O Lord, grant us peace!” But when I prayed with black Christians the emphasis would be, “Justice, justice, O Lord, grant us justice!”

The reality is that for those who have lots to lose the desire is for peace, because peace means not losing what you have. But for those who have nothing, the desire is for justice, because justice means that you will get what is rightfully yours but has been denied to you.

When we come to read the psalms we need to understand that often they are written by those whose greatest desire is for justice. They are written by people who have suffered loss. They describe circumstances through the eyes of the victims rather than the victors. And so these psalms express violence rather than peace because they are psalms crying out for justice, for wrongs to be righted, for oppressors to be punished and held to account.

At this point it might be helpful to turn again to Psalm 137 and see if we can make some sense of it.

This isn’t a psalm written by a victor, and it is not a psalm written by anyone who has power to do the things that they pray. This psalm was written by Israelites who had been taken into captivity into Babylon. So it is written by someone wrenched from their homeland, who has seen loved ones butchered in front of their eyes, who has seen the women raped and the old people humiliated and is now a captive in a foreign land. This is a psalm by someone who is now being asked to act like a performing bear for the amusement of its tormentors. This is a psalm by someone who is powerless. So the appalling cry at the end of the psalm (Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!) is actually a plea for justice. It expresses a desire that Babylon’s great power would be ended – that her family line would be brought to a halt. So we could translate these verses in a way which keeps the meaning but loses some of the shock value. Rather than saying:

O daughter of Babylon, doomed to be destroyed,
blessed shall he be who repays you
with what you have done to us!
Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones
and dashes them against the rock!


We could say:

O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is the one who brings you to judgement because of what you have done to us
– happy the one who seizes you and puts an end to your rule forever.


Similarly, where in Psalm 58 we read:

The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance;
he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked.


We could say:

The righteous will rejoice in the victory of justice,
when they see how the power of the wicked collapses


We could translate it that way. To do so gives the underlying meaning of what is being said. But the whole point of these psalms is that they are meant to be shocking; they are meant to make us sit up and wince; they are meant to make us feel something of the pain of those who wrote them. They are meant to keep us from regarding injustice lightly.

Monday, 21 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 4

Principle No. 2 for understanding the cursing Psalms...

2. God is not afraid of strong emotion

Often people confuse being a follower of Jesus with being “nice” – ironically something it would be hard to describe Jesus as. He was kind, gentle, good, but not “nice.” Jesus had power that scared people and authority that polarised opinion. He was tough.

Followers of Jesus should also be far more than merely nice. Our prayer and praises do not need to be polite. The language of the psalms is often emotionally raw and it is ironic that the Church has so often sanitised the psalms. In those churches that use a formal liturgy the psalms usually form the backbone of that liturgy, but so often the psalms are used in a way that castrates their raw emotional power. The psalms were not written in a monastery or cathedral; they were composed in the field of conflict. The psalms depict a daily personal and national struggle against enemies. They are not meant to be safe. Psalm 23 is the most quoted psalm to bring people comfort, but even that psalm carries the whiff of violence: Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. What do a rod and staff do? They don’t say, “there, there, its all going to be ok.” No! A rod and staff are for hitting people with! That’s what Psalm 23 is all about – hitting people!

The psalms teach us that God is not afraid of strong emotion and it is not inappropriate to use strong emotion in our prayers and praises. The psalms are full of cries and shouts and pleas and rants! They are the raw, unedited, emotional outpourings of people desperate for God’s answer. They are not emotion for the sake of emotion, but they are not embarrassed to display emotion.

We need to allow this to shape the way we worship and the way we pray. Sometimes we are too passive, too polite and too soft. Sometimes we need to learn to be more active, more aggressive and more robust.

Sunday, 20 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 3

Here is the first of my principles for understanding the "cursing Psalms"...

1. The Psalms are Poetry

When we read the Psalms it is essential we read them as poetry, as songs. One of the things that distinguishes poetry or song lyrics from regular writing or speaking is that in a poem or song it is appropriate to express strong emotion in strong language – to express things in a way that would be considered weird or over the top in normal conversation.

It is possible to listen to a song and let the lyrics wash over us. I tend to do this, while my wife – with her more sensitive personality – doesn’t. So it might be that the two of us are sitting down in the evening and both reading a book and I put on a CD with strong lyrics. I can carry on reading my book while Grace will say, “How am I supposed to read with that going on?”

But, my insensitivity aside, we understand the language of song – we understand that songs express strong emotion in a way we wouldn’t normally express it. If you look at the lyrics of songs and just read them without thinking about them as songs then they can often be quite embarrassing or strange; they express emotion in a way that wouldn’t be normal if you were having a conversation with someone.

Sometimes modern song-writers deliberately write in a way that reflects the Psalms, and this can help us to better understand the Psalms themselves. Bono is one of the best examples of this. On the album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, Bono wrote what is in effect a psalm, called Yahweh. Its got quite a nice gentle tune, and the words make sense because they are the words of a song. But when you just look at the lyrics and forget that this is a song, the words are more jarring:

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don’t make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
And make it break


As a song – as a psalm – what Bono has written makes sense, but if you tried to speak like this in normal conversation everyone would think you were weird.

It is vital that we understand this when we read the psalms, and especially when we read the cursing psalms with their images of violence and vengeance. This is not normal conversation – it is song, and song expressing strong emotion. Poets and song writers use exaggeration to make their point and that is what is happening in these psalms. The psalms use the language of poetry and song and that is exaggerated, emotional, language.

Saturday, 19 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 2

The "cursing Psalms" can be so hard to understand the temptation is either to ignore them completely, or to use them inappropriately and turn Christianity into a religion of violence rather than the way of peace. But, perhaps, if we put ourselves in the place of Hawa (or countless thousands like her) we will be able to make better sense of these cursing psalms.

I’ll spend the next few posts looking at Psalm 58 as a good example of this kind of psalm.
To the choirmaster: according to Do Not Destroy. A Miktam of David.

Do you indeed decree what is right, you gods?
Do you judge the children of man uprightly?
No, in your hearts you devise wrongs;
your hands deal out violence on earth.
The wicked are estranged from the womb;
they go astray from birth, speaking lies.
They have venom like the venom of a serpent,
like the deaf adder that stops its ear,
so that it does not hear the voice of charmers
or of the cunning enchanter.
O God, break the teeth in their mouths;
tear out the fangs of the young lions, O LORD!
Let them vanish like water that runs away;
when he aims his arrows, let them be blunted.
Let them be like the snail that dissolves into slime,
like the stillborn child who never sees the sun.
Sooner than your pots can feel the heat of thorns,
whether green or ablaze, may he sweep them away!
The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance;
he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked.
Mankind will say, "Surely there is a reward for the righteous;
surely there is a God who judges on earth."



The problem with Psalm 58 and the other cursing psalms is that they seem to revel in violence and bloodshed. This is rather hard for us to take, and it is hard to take on at least two levels. The first level is that we live in a culture which is very anti-violence, at least officially. There is clearly violence in our society – there is a growing problem with gun and knife crime – but it is hardly like living in Darfur. There is of course officially sanctioned violence as British troops are involved at the sharp end in Iraq, but this is a hugely unpopular war that most people think we should not be in – it doesn’t reflect any blood-lust in the British population at large. Violence is increasingly regarded as an unacceptable way to get things done. We no longer use the death sentence or corporal punishment; there is a strong campaign to prevent parents smacking their children; husbands are not allowed to exercise force against their wives in a way that would have been considered quite normal one hundred years ago; fox hunting has been banned; and so on. We are a society that prefers tolerance to violence.

So we have a cultural problem when we read in Psalm 3:7:

Strike all my enemies on the cheek; you break the teeth of the wicked.


We find these things hard to take because they are so alien to our culture, but then we also find them hard to take as Christians, because they seem so alien to what Christians are supposed to believe and do. What possible connection can there be between these declarations of extreme violence and the teachings of Jesus who commanded us to turn the other cheek and said blessed are the peacemakers?

These kind of problems have meant that over the past 2,000 years Christians have often tried to get around these psalms. One response has been to simply discard them, along with the other parts of the bible which are hard to understand. In the second century a man named Marcion declared that the God of the Old Testament was a different God from the God of Jesus Christ and the New Testament. This led to what was known as the Marcionite Heresy. It was a heresy that was soundly rejected by the church at the time, but it is a heresy that regularly raises its head again. And it is a heresy that we must not fall prey to. The God of the OT is absolutely the God of the NT. We need to read the whole bible and understand God’s working through the whole story.

More recently than Marcion, some Christians have chosen to remove the offending verses from the Psalms when they are publicly read out. In the Catholic Liturgy of the Hours, Psalm 58 has been removed altogether as being too offensive for modern ears!

So how are we to understand these psalms? Should we reject them or ignore them or somehow accept them as being a valid, and helpful, part of Scripture? I believe there are five principles that will help us get to grips with these Psalms, and have us singing against injustice.

Friday, 18 April 2008

SINGING AGAINST INJUSTICE, 1

Things don’t seem to be improving too much in Zimbabwe.

A few years back I preached a series from the Psalms at New Community, and the one that got the strongest reaction was on Psalm 58 – a Psalm about injustice. Later (by invitation, and with some trepidation) I preached from this Psalm in Zimbabwe. In the last couple of weeks I have been back to work on it again and rather than just have that work sitting on my computer I am planning to do a few posts on it.

Here goes…

In the five years between 2003 and 2008 2.5 million people were displaced and 200,000 killed in the conflict in Darfur, Sudan. Bands of Janjaweed militia, supported by the Sudanese government, wrecked havoc across the south of the country, burning and destroying at will. And as so often in times of conflict, violence against women was a key weapon of choice for the militias. A reporter with the BBC recorded Hawa’s story:

Hawa was raped in broad daylight, the way it often happens here in northern Darfur.
Clutching a baby to her breast, she relived her ordeal from Kassab camp which is sanctuary to more than 20,000 people displaced by Darfur's bloody conflict.
"I left the camp with two other girls, to get grass for the donkeys," she remembers.
"Along the way we met more than four men with guns. One of them grabbed my arms and another one grabbed my legs. They said they would kill me if I didn't co-operate."


How do we pray when faced with such injustice? How can we pray to a God who allows the world to experience so much suffering?

The Psalms show us how.

The Psalms teach us to express ourselves to God. There isn’t one correct way to pray or worship – our personality and our circumstances, where we are, the time of day it is, the stuff that has been happening to us, all these things (and others) will affect how we approach God. Life changes, and changes us, so our prayers change. The way I pray now I am a father is different from how I prayed before I had children. The things that bothered me when I was 14 aren’t so much of an issue for me now. Stuff happens. Life changes.

The Psalms reflect the changing circumstances of life. They give us very down to earth examples of a dynamic relationship with God. Some of the Psalms are intensely personal, others are more communal. Some are full of joy and others full of sorrow. And some just simmer with anger.

There is much to be angry about.

Some of the Psalms are brutal. These are the psalms that are perhaps the most difficult for us to understand and get to grips with. They are psalms of horror and cursing. They are psalms of anger and vengeance. And this means they are hard to understand, because anger and vengeance seem a long way from what we normally understand the Christian attitude should be. Take Psalm 137, for example:

O daughter of Babylon, doomed to be destroyed,
blessed shall he be who repays you
with what you have done to us!
Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones
and dashes them against the rock!


What are we meant to do with that? How did it even get into the Bible?!

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

BIT OF BLOG

Its been a blog free week, well week-and-a-bit, but I’ve been flat-out with other stuff and thought I’d take a break. Besides, my creative juices seem to have dried up, or at least been diverted elsewhere. But here are some random thoughts about where things are at…

We’ve been in Poole just over three months now and the pace is beginning to quicken. Last week we had a prayer week at Alder Road, which was tremendously encouraging, and on Sunday we enjoyed a “post-prayer week bounce” with a really good time together. This coming Saturday the church is away together at Chantmarle and we have my good friend Greg Shepherd from New Community coming to do some teaching and to lead us in worship. I am looking for another step-up in momentum.

I have been convicted again about the vital place of prayer in the life of a church – corporate prayer, individual prayer, prayers from the preacher – we’re not going to get anywhere without it.

I also remain convicted about the vital need to build-up and strengthen marriage and family life. Grace and I are leading three seminars to this effect at Alder Road over the next few weeks. The first one is in two weeks, on parenting.

Grace and I are still pretty amazed that we have moved to such a beautiful place. Yesterday we were out walking the Dorset coast path again, at Chapman's Pool – it is magnificent.



I am relieved that Newcastle United have started gaining some points at last.

The sale of our house seems to be moving forward still, but these are uncertain times and I want to get those contracts exchanged!

And I am still praying for my friends in Zimbabwe and hoping against hope that Mugabe moves aside peacefully.

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Saturday, 5 April 2008

WE ARE FAMILY

Marriage and family life just isn't dropping out of the headlines. Todays news is about Mr Justice Coleridge, a Family Division judge for England and Wales, warning that the results of family breakdown could be as destructive as global warming.

I think the judge is right, and am grateful that my own family is such a source of happiness and strength to me - I don't take this for granted. We did have something of a meltdown in the Hosier house today, however - daughter No. 3 beat me at Monopoly. Never before have I been overcome by the blighters on the board of truth, but today I was the victim of the most extraordinarily unlucky dice rolls and could do nothing about it. It feels like a new epoch has begun, rather like the day when I (aged 15) first beat my dad at an arm wrestle and knew that I now had the physical supremacy. At least as the father of girls that is one indignity that is less likely to befall me...!

Thursday, 3 April 2008

MORE MARRIAGE

Two contrasting reports on marriage featured in the news today. One goes like this:

Wedded bliss lasts about four years for most women, a leading psychologist has said.
Prof Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel laureate, said studies showed that beyond this the benefits of marriage were often outweighed by having less time to see friends and a larger household workload.
While those who stayed single were more likely to feel lonely and have less sex, they had greater freedom, more time to socialise and fewer chores, he said.


Of course, this is only true depending upon your definition of “freedom”, “socialize” and “chores.” Let me give my spin on what those words mean to me, after 14 years of marriage.

FREEDOM: I have freedom emotionally – I know someone loves me unconditionally so I am free from having to go hunting for that love anywhere else. I have freedom sexually – I don’t need porn or prostitutes or to go picking up women in bars; my wife satisfies me. I have freedom spiritually – Grace supports and sustains me. I have freedom recreationally – we love doing stuff together. I have freedom professionally – Grace encourages me in my work and interests; she makes it easier for me to do them.

SOCIALISE: Most of the singles I know tell me that not being married makes it harder, not easier, to socialise. This is one of the things that is often most painful about being single. My first point of social engagement is with my wife! She is my best friend. And together we socialise with many, many other people. Marriage is good for my social life.

CHORES: Why do we call work “chores?” Work has a dignity about it, even if it is routine and unexciting. Husband and wife working together can find dignity, pleasure even, in the most mundane of things.

Of course, I am a man, and this study was about women, but I think Grace would respond to it pretty much as I do. Anyway, the second report was much more encouraging:

A woman has been rescued from the jaws of a saltwater crocodile in Australia after her husband jumped onto its back and forced it to flee.
The attack took place in the Litchfield National Park near Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory.
The crocodile lunged at its victim as she stood on the banks of a river, locking its jaws around her legs before trying to drag her into the water.
Police have said the heroism of her husband almost certainly saved her.
As the crocodile attacked, Wendy Petherick shouted to her husband Norm who told reporters he acted instinctively.
"I saw Wendy in the water, trying to pull something out of her leg, and I knew it was a croc," he said.
"I acted quickly, just jumped on top of it, and looked for the eyes. I found them, and poked its eyes, and that's when it released her, I think."


Apart from crocs being only one of numerous things that will try to kill you if you live in Australia, and therefore this being a lesson in why emigrating there is a silly idea, this is a great story! I bet Wendy Petherick isn’t complaining about a lack of freedom, socializing or too many chores to do.

So here’s my recipe for a good life: Get married and have more freedom, more socializing, more satisfying work, and protection from large reptiles!

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

14 YEARS OF GRACE

Out walking on Monday, Grace and I randomly got talking to two couples, both of whom were married on April 1st. By God’s grace we were fortunate to avoid April Fool’s Day and got married on April 2nd. Today is our 14th wedding anniversary.

The couples we spoke to on Monday were in to their sixth decade of marriage, and were spending their retirement on the Dorset Coast Path, showing people adders and looking out for dolphins. This struck me as a pretty neat way to live once in one’s 70’s – enjoying the sun, lots of people to chat to, surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation, no rush or bother.

I am a fan of marriage. It has been very good for me! And all the evidence demonstrates that marriage is good for society in general; but it is under attack. A report last week stated that marriage rates are now at the lowest they have been since records began. Divorce is common and co-habitation rather than marriage is increasingly the norm. Marriage needs some fans.

So I want to sing the praises of marriage, and of the wife God has graced me with. 14 years on we are living somewhere we never expected to live, doing a job we didn’t know we would be doing. 14 years ago we had no idea that we would be blessed with four beautiful daughters. Life is unpredictable. But for 14 years we have been kept faithful to one another and are more in love on April 2nd 2008 than we were on April 2nd 1994. Life has been full of unexpected twists and turns but God’s grace to me through Grace has been constant. I thank God that he chose a woman for me named Grace. Every day my wife reminds me of the grace of God and ministers grace to me. I live with grace. I sleep with grace. I see grace face to face every day.

This is why the song I have sung more than any other these past 14 years is about the grace of God:

The grace of God upon my life
Is not dependent upon me
On what I have done or deserve
But a gift of mercy from God
Which has been given unto me
Because of his love
His love for me.
It is unending, unfailing, unlimited, unmerited
The grace of God given unto me
It is unending, unfailing, unlimited, unmerited
The grace of God given unto me.


Thank you Grace!