MANLINESS, PART 5

Standing outside the Brighton Conference Centre after an evening meeting during the Together on a Mission Conference it was interesting to observe the reactions of unbelievers walking by. One man stormed past with his girlfriend saying, “Lets push past these Christian *******” while another said ironically to his mates, “Watch out – there’s a large group of Christians – could be trouble.” Neither response demonstrated much expectation that there might be some men in the crowd.

We need to work towards defining some characteristics of manliness.

This is not so easy to do, although we all know it when we see it.

I am fortunate to have some manly men among my friends. A good example would be Scott Marques. Scott is from Zimbabwe, but has recently moved to Mozambique with his family to create businesses and start a church. Scott strikes me as manly because he is bold, entrepreneurial, gracious, able to get along with all kinds of people, a good husband and father, risk-taking, energetic, enthusiastic, generous. It is not easy to imagine him getting into a fight because he is so good with people, but if he did, you just know he’d win, if only through sheer dogged determination and grit. Scott is the kind of man you would want to be alongside in a battle.

When we see a real man, we know it, but when trying to define some characteristics of manliness we do need to be cautious about falling into stereotypes.

For example, I have so often heard the fact repeated that “women use twice as many words each day as men.” Pretty much every marriage seminar I have attended has come out with this one. But here’s the thing: its not true! I haven’t been able to find any evidence of research which supports this idea. The reality is that some men talk a lot while others don’t and some women talk a lot while others don’t. It might be true that women are often more comfortable in social situations and so more quickly get into chatting with one another, but get men onto a subject that interests them and they talk plenty. In my local pub the guys are talking plenty, about subjects that interest men.

Lets not be afraid to define manliness, but lets not settle for erroneous clichés.