FRIENDS & NEIGHBOURS

One of the givens of human social interaction is that the longer you take to make yourself known to another, the more difficult it becomes to make yourself known. Try sitting on a plane and ignoring the person who is sitting next to you for the first five minutes and it becomes embarrassingly awkward to introduce yourself; whereas a friendly greeting as soon as you sit down makes it much easier to pursue a conversation later on.

It is similar with ones neighbours. It is much easier to make introductions when new to a street than when you have been living there for years.

So Grace and I decided to have our new neighbours round on Christmas Eve, just a couple of weeks after moving in. We had a good turnout, with maybe 40 or 50 people passing through the house. Having met one woman who has lived here for 50 years I introduced her to a man from around the corner. “Are you a newbie?” she enquired. “No, I’ve lived here 30 years,” he replied. Decades of living within a few hundred yards of each other, without ever having met. It felt good to put them together. For the first time we are living in a road where there are a crowd of kids who go to the same schools as our kids, and we are hopeful that this will make it easier for us to get to know more of our neighbours.

The past couple of days we have been in London visiting old friends of ours. Six adults, ten children and three dogs all thrown together. We have known one anothers kids since they were foetuses and we agreed that one of the few compensations of middle-age is the opportunity it provides to become an embarrassing parent. We now get to say all the things our own parents used to say which had us cringing to our socks when we were entering our teens.



And, as often happens when we get together, someone mentioned the story of Billy Graham and the key team members who had worked with him for decades buying houses next to one another to see their days out in.

Friends and neighbours. That should be more than a sit-com or soap opera – it should be normal life, with its potential for embarrassment, but also its potential for something truly life-enhancing.

SEASIDE CHRISTMAS

After two weeks of freeze, and a miserable wet day yesterday, Christmas Day has been beautiful in Poole. 16 hardy souls from Gateway went for a dip in the sea - a big improvement on last year when only five of us took the plunge. And it wasn't as cold as you might imagine...

CHRISTMAS DAY

Colossians 1:15-20
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through him and for him. 17And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

CHRISTMAS EVE

John 1:14
14And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

ADVENT 23

John 1:6-13
6There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. 8He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. 9The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. 10He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. 12But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

ADVENT 22

John 1:1-5
1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was in the beginning with God. 3All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4In him was life and the life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

FEELING FESTIVE?

By temperament I am preconditioned to be a grouch about Christmas – as I have a visceral reaction to superficiality, sentimentality and kitsch there is not much about the contemporary Christmas that appeals to me. Doubtless, had I been alive during the English Civil War I would have been with those wanting to ban the festival.

However, I have chosen to overcome my natural disposition and make a celebration of Christmas for a number of reasons. I think Christians should find any excuse to celebrate, so Christmas is as good an excuse as any. I have kids, and it is fun doing Christmas with them. And as a pastor, Christmas is a wonderful opportunity to connect people who wouldn’t normally come to church with the story of the gospel.

We had two brilliant carol services at Gateway last week, which pulled a lot of guests in. Church attendance at Christmas in the UK has skyrocketed over the past few years, and any sensible church leader will want to maximise the opportunities this brings. Some seem determined to blow the opportunity though.

During the week I attended the Christmas service held by my kids school at the local parish church. 1,000 people were packed in – an amazing moment to draw people towards the gospel. But the vicar seemed determined to put people off as much as possible. Clapping was banned, “because this is a service,” so that when the school jazz band finished a piece we all sat in frozen silence. And when the priest rose to pronounce a blessing, it was in the name of “Christmastide,” whatever that is.

A significant problem in our culture is not that people have nothing to be thankful for, but no-one to be thankful to. Many people are miserable because they never offer praise, because it is in giving praise (or to put it another way, worship) that our own sense of joy is made complete. So as we sat in our hard pews, unable to praise our children, or – more significantly – God, our enjoyment of the service/show was drastically reduced.

I sat seething.

Everything that is worst about the church, and peoples perception of it, represented at a school Christmas event. Oliver Cromwell would have got up and smashed a window…

Yesterday at Gateway Simon Guillebaud preached a powerful message about radical Christian living. I guess that some members of my congregation were taken aback – it certainly wasn’t very Christmassy! But it was true to the gospel – the world is screwed up, full of suffering and pain, and in the face of such suffering all our material comforts and desires are trivial in comparison with a life lived full-out for Jesus, the hope of the world. That is the real message this Christmas, and one that leads to real celebration – with singing, and shouting and – yes – even clapping.

And no church leader, vicar or minister should forget it.

ADVENT 21

Matthew 2:19-23
19But when Herod died, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, 20saying, "Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child's life are dead." 21And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. 22But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he withdrew to the district of Galilee. 23And he went and lived in a city called Nazareth, that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled: "He shall be called a Nazarene."

ADVENT 20

Matthew 2:16-18
16Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men. 17Then was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah:

18"A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more."

ADVENT 19

Matthew 2:13-15
13Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him." 14And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt 15and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, "Out of Egypt I called my son."

ADVENT 18

Matthew 2:7-12
7Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. 8And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, "Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him." 9After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. 10When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. 11And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. 12And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.

ADVENT 17

Matthew 2:1-6
1Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, 2saying, "Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him." 3When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; 4and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. 5They told him, "In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet:

6"'And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel.'"

ADVENT 16

Luke 2:15-20
15When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." 16And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. 17And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. 18And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. 19But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. 20And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

ADVENT 15

Luke 2:8-14
8And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. 10And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"

ADVENT 14

Luke 2:1-7
1In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. 2This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. 3And all went to be registered, each to his own town. 4And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, 5to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. 6And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. 7And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

ADVENT 13

Matthew 1:22-25
22All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

23"Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel" (which means, God with us). 24When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

ADVENT 12

Matthew 1:18-21
18Now the birth of Jesus Chris took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins."

KNEE PADS CHANGED MY LIFE

In many ways my life has been defined by building projects.

In my early 20’s I was part of Church of Christ the King, Brighton, as we purchased and transformed what was a warehouse into the Clarendon Centre. This was a £3 million project, which felt a huge sum of money back in the early nineties. I put as much money into that thing as I could, as well as helping with work parties. As a result I feel a real investment in that church. Whenever I visit I look at the grout in the loos there, which I am responsible for, and feel grateful to have been part of it! (Mind you, the loos are in pretty poor repair now, and really need replacing (subtle hint to the CCK elders!)).

After Brighton and CCK I moved to another town and another church. This church met in a school and really needed some premises of their own. What was potentially a fantastic venue became available, but the church lacked the courage to go for it, and – 16 years later – are still meeting in a school hall.

Then I moved to Sidcup. After five years there I was asked to lead the eldership team at New Community Church, and the first thing I stepped into was a £1 million refurbishment program of our facilities. This worked out well, and, again, added to my sense of investment in that church.

When I moved to Poole last year we got into a building program pretty quickly. Only a small one this time – about £100,000 worth – but significant for this church. The building now looks and works much better than it previously did, and I’m glad we spent the cash.

So I am used to church building programs, but I’ve never done a big project on a house before. As my family emerges, blinking, from the dust and disruption of the past 12 months, and the building of our new home, I have been reflecting on the things I have learnt about building projects…

1. They always say that it will cost more and take longer than you are told it will. Optimism means you don’t believe this, but they are always right!
2. Don’t get friendly with your builders – it makes it difficult to play hardball with them when things get sticky.
3. Get friendly with your builders – it makes the project more fun, and opens up all sorts of interesting contacts and conversations.
4. Look & learn – I now know how to get a door off its hinges when the screws are too embedded to get out; I know what cellotex is; I know how to level a wonky staircase.
5. A building project will place significant strains upon your sanctification, so remember Psalm 127:1
6. You get what you pay for.
7. Its worth it in the end. There will be some scary and painful moments, but hold your nerve, and keep your course.
8. Be bold! You will probably only get one shot at it, so do it well, do it thoroughly, and don’t cut too may corners. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life thinking, “If only we’d managed to get that bit done…”
9. Remember what the building is for – a church premises to bless the saints and serve the lost; a home for your family – but never the be-all and end-all of your life. Don’t make an idol of your building! There are more important things.
10. If you are doing any work yourself, get the proper gear. My life was transformed by following my builders advice and getting proper work trousers with foam knee pads. Any kind of building/decorating work means time on your knees (often in prayer/despair!) and this is uncomfortable. I also have a life-long back problem, and knee pads take a lot of strain off the back. Good kit is a good thing!

ADVENT 11

Luke 1:67-80
67And his father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied, saying, 68"Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people 69and has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David, 70as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets from of old, 71that we should be saved from our enemies and from the hand of all who hate us; 72to show the mercy promised to our fathers and to remember his holy covenant, 73the oath that he swore to our father Abraham, to grant us 74that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies, might serve him without fear, 75in holiness and righteousness before him all our days. 76And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High; for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, 77to give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins, 78because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high 79to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace."

80And the child grew and became strong in spirit, and he was in the wilderness until the day of his public appearance to Israel.

ADVENT 10

Luke 1:56-66
56Mary remained with Elizabeth about three months and returned to her home.

57Now the time came for Elizabeth to give birth, and she bore a son. 58And her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown great mercy to her, and they rejoiced with her. 59And on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child. And they would have called him Zechariah after his father, 60but his mother answered, "No; he shall be called John." 61And they said to her, "None of your relatives is called by this name." 62And they made signs to his father, inquiring what he wanted him to be called. 63And he asked for a writing tablet and wrote, "His name is John." And they all wondered. 64And immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue loosed, and he spoke, blessing God. 65And fear came on all their neighbors. And all these things were talked about through all the hill country of Judea, 66and all who heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, "What then will this child be?" For the hand of the Lord was with him.

ADVENT 9

Luke 1:46-55
46And Mary said,

"My soul magnifies the Lord, 47and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 48for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; 49for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. 50And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. 51He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; 52he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; 53he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away. 54He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, 55as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever."

ADVENT 8

Luke 1:39-45
39In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, 42and she exclaimed with a loud cry, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! 43And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord."

ADVENT 7

Luke 1:34-38
34And Mary said to the angel, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

35And the angel answered her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy – the Son of God. 36And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37For nothing will be impossible with God." 38And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.

ADVENT 6

Luke 1:26-33
26In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary. 28And he came to her and said, "Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” 29But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end."

ADVENT 5

Luke 1:24-25
24After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she kept herself hidden, saying, 25"Thus the Lord has done for me in the days when he looked on me, to take away my reproach among people."

THE FINAL PUSH

Today is the last big decorating & cleaning day before moving house tomorrow. From looking nowhere near ready on Wednesday, we yesterday made some big steps forward - including getting the heating on and a shower plumbed in. Some very kind friends from church (I am so grateful for the body of Christ) put their shoulders to the wheel and by tomorrow morning we should be good to go.



It was also Daughter No. 1's twelfth birthday yesterday - my little baby is turning into a young woman.

ADVENT 4

Luke 1:18-23
18And Zechariah said to the angel, "How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years." 19And the angel answered him, "I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. 20And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time." 21And the people were waiting for Zechariah, and they were wondering at his delay in the temple. 22And when he came out, he was unable to speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the temple. And he kept making signs to them and remained mute. 23And when his time of service was ended, he went to his home.

ADVENT 3

Luke 1:13-17
13But the angel said to Zechariah, "Do not be afraid, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. 14And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15for he will be great before the Lord. And he must not drink wine or strong drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. 16And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God, 17and he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready for the Lord a people prepared."

ADVENT 2

Luke 1:8-12
8Now while Zechariah was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty, 9according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. 10And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense. 11And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. 12And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him.

ADVENT

My family has developed an Advent tradition over the past few years (it is good to have traditions). We have a fabric Advent Calendar, with pockets in it for sweets, but as well as sweets we insert into each pocket a portion of the Christmas story, so through December we read the whole story together.

I thought you might like to join in our Advent readings...

Luke 1:5-7
5In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. 7But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.